Happiness is a Marble Countertop?

I spoke before of the remnants that come up from the distant parts no one wants to think of. Now I have come to tell you that there is a beer I have not tasted that is unruly in it's slap-dash flavors and bitter yet somehow sweet. Heavy in it's lightness, it is retarded in being categorized. You cannot even consider it. It's like thinking about what is at the end of the universe. (When I was a child I thought at the end of the universe the you would find clear blue sky.) What is at the end of the universe? How far is it and why am I bothered by it? I have bills to pay. Perhaps I am at the end of universe right now.
     Back to the remnants. This is no time to party, pity or otherwise. We must be direct. Our bowels must be clean. We cannot be full of shit, not here, not now. It is important to realize our fullest potential and not just run around aimlessly without the slightest idea of what we doing. Yet it is easy. Easy to be consumed in a blue funk of unrealized ideals trying to capture a lifestyle laid out in a full page magazine ad. No, don't be naive. They tell you that to be happy you must do or have this or that. They tell you you absolutely cannot choose for yourself what makes you happy. Happiness is a marble countertop? Do I need a countertop at all?

Sunshine on my shoulder...
Makes me happy, but it doesn't keep me out of a plane crash. Son of a bitch. [see John Denver]

For those of you who are too young or unable to construct the backstory just google John Denver and you will get the joke.

Reynard says I'm too "heavy" and to "get up off myself", so to unburden your mind we include:

Storybreak: Snow White
Once upon a time or so there were seven dwarfs who wished and prayed for a beautiful maiden to live with them and help them live full and happy lives. Snow White showed up and immediately began to do their laundry. Grumpy said, "She'll be dead in two weeks!" but Happy on the other hand, wanted to speak to her in private.
     A witch shows up and poisons SW but doesn't quite kill her, the dwarfs immediately decide to throw her (the witch you fools) over a cliff. The witch says "Wait I'm a beautiful queen - and I can do laundry!" Watch this! She whips out a small vial and drinks it and... nothing happens. As they are carrying her toward the precipice the transformation occurs and she changes to the ravishingly beautiful, mature, curvaceous queen. "Put me down you fools, I am the queen!" They pause for a second then decide to throw her over anyway, who does she think she's talkin' to! "Wait!" she says and in a manner most humble, begins to speak "I... [end of part one]