Bees The Size of Bears

Bees
One day the drama will unfold upon itself and the dream champions will become still. Dozens of huge bees will fly around. Bees the size of grizzly bears. They will sting you if you try to kill your fellow man. They cannot be stopped by any weapon because they are made of neural spirits and dis- and reappear before you realize it. Their stings are real though, at first you are stunned, then you slowly solidify, eventually you turn to amber and become quite transparent.

Dan Ropers' Place
Dusty, hot and covered with sweat. Not enough water. Can't wait till I get to Dan Ropers place, there will be food and water and that's all I want. Got to make a deal. I wonder if it's worth it? It don't take much to lose your life if you don't keep your wits about yourself... Man, the dust, the dust. I should be there in half an hour - if my horse don't tire out.

National "Do Nothing Week"
Do Nothing Week is upon me. But it doesn't pay very well. Every time I try to celebrate do nothing week everybody gets pissed off because I'm not "being productive". Here I am, approaching Zen, Zen I tell you, and these frantic people are trying to block me. The Golden path is not covered in gold, must I explain further?

The Eagle Soars
The eagle soars over the clear blue skies, he spots a rabbit, dives at over one hundred miles per hour and just like that he and the rabbit are gone, one having, the other being, lunch.

End Note (Post It, Baby)
Clean desk, blank, endless monotony of deadly foolishness - repetitive strife.
Soon the gods will tire of us and wipe us from the face of the earth.
I wonder, what will they replace us with?

Too Cheap to Dance

Mambo Lessons

I went to take Mambo lessons

but when I saw how much it cost,

my wallet developed quite a frost

The dance teacher was frustrated as frustrated can be

I turned and wiggled, buzzed and giggled

I was quite a sight you see

as I glided, no sailed, through the air

when they threw me out

and down

the stairs

Denby Asks the Questions

Excerpts from The River Danville

Never worry near the river Danville. It's banks are unmolested by marauding merchants.

The mosquito bites but gives no fever. You are not depressed (though you under achieve her)

The river welcomes you though you're full of holes, it doesn't expect that you play (a role)

It is and you are and that is enough, (for you anyway) to gaze and stare (at the gorgeous bluffs)

Any fears are self generated - pause and feel the love (so venerated)

A static whim and a stiff reception - there is no cause for self deception

Now you release and feel it's rythym - free to accept the love within him (her)

Death By Extension (A Communication)

The Man in The Hat has just been exposed to the "hyper-extrapolation of intention". Let me explain briefly. In a comic panel TMITH (see previous post) has a woman who is psychotic (obviously) shooting her dinner companion and making some unrelated comment regarding it. Now TMITH is not the funniest fellow, but I kind of get where he's going with the concept. However, I got a call from "THE EDITOR" (TE),  he thinks TMITH is saying that "all women are crazy." This reminds me of occasions where a statement is made like "Newt Gingrich is a vile, slimy, disgusting, reprehensible, regressive, anarchistic, cruel - idiot!" and someone replies; "When you say that, you are saying that all white-conservative-racist males are inherently evil - aren't you!?!" Oh my, no! This is an extrapolation-extension! The statement referred to Newt only, not the rest of his greedy, murdering,  Ayn Rand-psycho buddies! I'd like to break this down further, but TE says I'm running out of letters and if you haven't "got me" by now you are beyond hope! All said, TMITH has a statement that reads thusly:

    I, The Man in The Hat, hereby make a declaration allowing me (myself) to freely pick on, embarrass, make fun of, tease, etc., any group of people, race, religion, sex, nationality not withstanding. Therefore if you feel I am making fun of someone and that bothers you make a donation and leave or make a donation and just go away. Mind your own business.

Encouraging words:
It's a new ____.
Time for a renewed and vigorous attempt at not being a low life. You CAN do it.

Creation N' Evolution

My friend Reynard puts an end to the creationist versus evolutionist nonsense with his wily, witty, pithy and thoroughly corrugated way of phrasing an argument. He's lucky he doesn't get killed!
Here's Reynards story...

   So, I'm talkin' to an evolutionist and he say's "Well, where did God come from?" I say "God didn't exist at first but billions of years ago some tiny particles were energized in a way that a "spirit protein" formed, then another billion years passed and these proteins (along with just the right conditions) "got themselves together" and formed one celled "minigods". Eons passed and these trans-mutated into the "LGA" or "lord god almighty", maker of the known universe. Come to think of it, it sounds a lot like your story of how humans came into existence, doesn't it? Then the guy gets all pissed and curses me out for being so accurate! At the same time a creationist comes by, having overheard the conversation - and she curses me out too!

Reynard, Reynard. Show a little respect for other peoples "well thought out" concepts, will ya!

That reminds me, don't you think it's a shame how some architects spend there entire lives ripping off Frank Lloyd Wright? On the other hand, it's quite a bit better than ripping off Frank O Gehry!

The Man in The Hat wants me to post his comics, but they are awful today! Please tell him to do better, additionally, he wants you to pick the one he will send to a national publication, why?
Here they are, TMNTH say's he has something "worthy" of my blog coming post-with. It had better be better than this____ up ____.

Happiness is a Marble Countertop?

I spoke before of the remnants that come up from the distant parts no one wants to think of. Now I have come to tell you that there is a beer I have not tasted that is unruly in it's slap-dash flavors and bitter yet somehow sweet. Heavy in it's lightness, it is retarded in being categorized. You cannot even consider it. It's like thinking about what is at the end of the universe. (When I was a child I thought at the end of the universe the you would find clear blue sky.) What is at the end of the universe? How far is it and why am I bothered by it? I have bills to pay. Perhaps I am at the end of universe right now.
     Back to the remnants. This is no time to party, pity or otherwise. We must be direct. Our bowels must be clean. We cannot be full of shit, not here, not now. It is important to realize our fullest potential and not just run around aimlessly without the slightest idea of what we doing. Yet it is easy. Easy to be consumed in a blue funk of unrealized ideals trying to capture a lifestyle laid out in a full page magazine ad. No, don't be naive. They tell you that to be happy you must do or have this or that. They tell you you absolutely cannot choose for yourself what makes you happy. Happiness is a marble countertop? Do I need a countertop at all?

Sunshine on my shoulder...
Makes me happy, but it doesn't keep me out of a plane crash. Son of a bitch. [see John Denver]

For those of you who are too young or unable to construct the backstory just google John Denver and you will get the joke.

Reynard says I'm too "heavy" and to "get up off myself", so to unburden your mind we include:

Storybreak: Snow White
Once upon a time or so there were seven dwarfs who wished and prayed for a beautiful maiden to live with them and help them live full and happy lives. Snow White showed up and immediately began to do their laundry. Grumpy said, "She'll be dead in two weeks!" but Happy on the other hand, wanted to speak to her in private.
     A witch shows up and poisons SW but doesn't quite kill her, the dwarfs immediately decide to throw her (the witch you fools) over a cliff. The witch says "Wait I'm a beautiful queen - and I can do laundry!" Watch this! She whips out a small vial and drinks it and... nothing happens. As they are carrying her toward the precipice the transformation occurs and she changes to the ravishingly beautiful, mature, curvaceous queen. "Put me down you fools, I am the queen!" They pause for a second then decide to throw her over anyway, who does she think she's talkin' to! "Wait!" she says and in a manner most humble, begins to speak "I... [end of part one]

Things sticking up out of the water

Today's post is brought to you by Bristol, the floor wax that increases the quality of your life.

Temy:    Mummy, those things, what are those things sticking out of the water?  Mother: Oh Tem, that's a monument to little Melvin, he wouldn't go to the dentist and when he smiled it looked just like those things coming out of the water! Temy: Mummy, we're going to the dentist now, aren't we? Mother: Oh, yes dear Tem, how did you guess? Temy: Oh, fine! Another date with "Crowbar Calvin"! Mother:  Dr. Calvin is a fine dentist -  you mind your mouth! Temy: I am, I wish Dr Calvin would mind it a little better too! Why does it have to hurt to look good? For instance I see you sweating, bending and straining trying to flatten your belly. Does a flat belly get you love? Mother: Er, uh no, not really...Temy: Then why does everyone want a flat one?
Mother:  Temy, it's time to get your teeth drilled.

Are you present?
Oscar ostentatious oozes the Ouzo he had before breakfast. Why does Oscar drink before noon?
Occasionally Oscar oscillates old memories that give him a bad outlook on life, living just enough in
the past...so today is ruined...

Metaphysical Mumbo-Jumbo

Watch out for blasphemousbob and his metaphysical mumbo-jumbo! All of his ooey-gooey cosmic-love wherefore and what-not! I for my part need "food", "shelter" and "physical recreation/reponse"*! I need you to get off my back, jump in the sack, stop writing like a hack, fill my pipe with crack, a box of...(cracker jack?)... well , you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, I like blasphemous, I really do. But let's not get carried away.

As told to me by: The Man in The Hat

*intimate?

Note 1:
I accidentally left some of my life in the frozen food section, if you see it, bring it back to me.

Explain yourself - Earth Speaks

Read previous post first, then read:

"Walking" is living, the comparisons are endless. The "Earth" is everything and everybody you come into direct or indirect contact with, you are in rythym and out of rythym - it always varies as your connectedness does. Your feet are tough and strong and at once one of the most sensitive parts of your body (if you are healthy) hence the tickling. The glass is the pain from everything - it happens. The belief that the earth speaks to us is the hope of unqualified love - that which we know little of , that which remains unclear, and yet it is this hope that is never dimmed at any time - from our first breath to our last.

The Earth Speaks?

As I was walking I wondered if the ground was trying to talk to me. Baring my feet, I walked to find the answer. My feet spoke to me between the slivers of glass I removed from them. I still think the earth speaks to me.

Creeping Dullness

Watch out for creeping dullness, it starts in one corner or crack and the next thing you know it's all over you, oozing and sticking and causing other things to stick to you that you really don't want or need and you can't get them off...when you try to get a "thing" to get the other thing off that thing gets stuck too, and it gets hard to stay light on your feet because they are also stuck and you need more things...

It's time to get off the train! No, literally, this is my stop - Millenium Park...