Clown Storm

Confetti or Gasoline?

No Beauregard, it is not water.

Clowns can be scary, funny, or just evil. We thought the joke could not get any bigger or actually take hold - but it did. It’s big! We are witnessing a “clown storm” before our very eyes. We are not sure what the clowns are are bringing. Remember the fires that the clowns would try to put out? The would run with buckets but they never had water. Some fires are conceptual - some are actual. What is terrifying (deeply disturbing?) is that ill conceived concepts morph into policy and then - acts of destruction.

     The proof is in the repetition of human behavior when it comes to terrible thoughts and ideas. Here is an example. Have you heard of female genital mutilation? Someone had to think of that. It began as a concept, a thought by some distorted male, then it spread and now still even to this day, mothers (who are most likely themselves victims of this crime) are taking their own daughters to be similarly maimed. This “concept” spread to many countries. This concept, so sad, so fearful, so unmanly is born of men’s fear of sexual inadequacy (also the need to control women) and a surprisingly hollow and weak answer to that fear. I have said all that to point out that no matter how heinous, foolish and awful an idea is, there is always a team of pure assholes to propagate it and get it going with a full head of steam. That is why the clown storm is so frightening.

So what are they bringing... confetti or gasoline?

 

Questions From Heretical Blasphemers

The Gentle Deacon Sums it up

Dear Deacon Jones:

I just realized that God is tired of me always asking for things.

That is, I believe, why he did not give me that high paying job or that new lawnmower. So I decided that since I am the one that has to do all the work for things that I want anyway - I need to start praying to myself. Here is a prayer I adjusted from a very common source to do just that. What do you think of it? - TS

My customized prayer: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for I am the shit. My own rod and my very own staff - they comfort me. No one else will provide me with rod and staff.

Dear TS,

You have lost your mind. Mental illness is no excuse when it comes to God. God is going to lightning bolt you. There can be no doubt. Expect no mercy or forgiveness, people like you deserve none. On the other hand I have noted that atheists and believers alike must complete medical school to become licensed drug dispensaries. So on that account only are you correct. You can share that point with one of your friends - while you burn in hell.

Forgot to shoot off the noses

Constructing God Part I

"Above all things make sure that God is the God of your people - first and foremost"

As a conservative Christian in America you must know that God is a white American male whose son looks like he is from Norway - except that he too, is a white American male.  God cares not to tax the rich and disdains the poor just as strongly as you. Whoever you kill is God's enemy and whatever you do has God's backing. It's Manifest Destiny, simply because God lets you get away with it. How do you feel?

Next: Salad Spinners for Aleppo

 

Grabbing America

He's Got Things In Hand!

I gotcha, honey! (Gosh, this thing is YUGE!)


God's choice* grabs America

TMITH comes up with a nicely mashed collage. The expression captures the essence of the times.

*according to conservative Christians (white supremacists), the Alt Right (white supremacists) KKK (white supremacists)the world round.

earlier version

REBUTTAL:

I'm a conservative Christian and I'm no white supremacist!

What color is Jesus?

He's white, like Santa Claus!

I'm glad you checked in. Please take a look at our following post to further your understanding, in it God explains things for you.

Uh, okay.

God's Candidate From Hell

Wow Batman! I bet you did not see that coming! (But Michael Moore did!) Remember all you religious fans - "God controls EVERYTHING".*

That being the case I see no reason for fear and worry.
Just like Germany in the 1930's
Everybody running scared
God came in and showed his wares
Battleships and cruiser bombers
Up and down the corridors of earth
Killing milling grinding the bastions
Tens of thousands of battalions
Glorious war like you've never seen it
Lockheed Martin and the others zenith
So if you've never had the chance
To twirl with death - to do the dance
Here it is and we guarantee it
God is giving and this time he means it


*Or so I've been told

Psychoanalysis of America - The Test Delivery Object (TDO)

The Donald Trump Test:  Procedure and Results

Prognosis:

Target Patient/Group is easily misled, delusional and displays a craving for false information and racist dialog. Target group is fearful and as a result of those fears, hateful. A large percentage of the target group appears to believe that a lack of melanin is somehow a sign of superiority, mentally as well as morally, despite concrete evidence to the contrary.

Donald Trump is the "TDO" (Test Delivery Object)

 

 

Procedure, Test and Results

 

Test Part I

Expose patient to random theory with zero probability

This allows us to gauge plausibility of “test delivery object” or TDO. The TDO in this case will be Donald Trump. Trump, known for decades as a sociopath and a generally low life weasel - whose only claim to fame is having access to cash and being a passably good con-artist. Trump will deliver and promote the “birther” theory. 
 

Test Result – Part I

Underestimation of racial intolerance/hate index

Patient’s racism allows inconceivable birther theory to advance - despite any rational coherent reasoning to the contrary. With these results we are able to proceed to Part II of the analysis, “The Candidacy”. 

Test Part II

If favorable response - increase dosage of bovina excrementata fourfold

While observing the general response of the masses use media buffering so that non-target audience does not over-respond. This is the “bend-point” in the analysis. Place hideous targets around TDO so he emerges as the obvious choice. Choose targets that are slimy and/or crazy and ill-begotten like Ted Cruz, Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina - and near felons such as Chris Christie.

Test Result – Part II

Bend Point Obliviousness - Republican Primary

Target and non-target are oblivious to TDO propping/staging. After many rounds of sub-idiotic banter the zombies are eliminated. Obvious impossibilities like random theory generator Carson, company destroying Fiorina, the self-loathing “John Ellis Bush” and other “losers” are gone. This leaves test delivery object (Trump) faced with “human environmental waste hazard” Ted Cruz. TDO wins primary with ease. General patient is mildly surprised and amused. Target audience is enthralled and practically giddy. Some subsets of the main group are concerned, but prove no match for media misdirection and smokescreens.  

Test Part III

Limits of Endurance - TDO Debates Republicrat HRC

TDO behavior during verbal cage matches (republican opponent HRC) will border on “grade school bully” to general lying and misdirection. TDO will deliver a mix of outrageous lies and half-truths to test the endurance of the target audience. If patient requests even higher doses of bovine waste increase to shock level and force close of experiment.

Test Result – Part III

Test Pattern and Procedures go unnoticed

Blatant media misdirection regarding TDO’s outrageous lies and falsified data proceeds without any annotation by the general public. TDO’s odious statements are continuously mollified until the “force close” when the media actually refer to TDO lies as “lies” this in the final stage of the test. Target audience is so addicted to the bovina excrementata that the actual highlighting of criminal activity does not dampen their enthusiasm for the TDO. It appears that for significant portions of humanus americanus there can be no recovery.

Addendum: Test has gone out of control and TDO is now president of the United States. OOPS! Sorry about that.

Conclusion

It is one thing to be entertained by a derelict character* on a television show (even then questionable), but to ask that he become your leader and president indicates a level of psychosis en-masse  never before charted in the annals of psychology. If one were of that disposition, one might consider it a prelude to judgment day. We realize however that it is merely the fear kickback of an African American president in a country founded on - and deeply steeped in - racism. We know rampant levels of sexism and misogyny exist in America.  How deep are they? Will we get a very clear picture of that very soon.  

*common known as an asshole

What If I'm A Genius?

Eggs, Swine & Heartfelt Greasy Potatoes

This unrelated graven image of Goldilocks - does not prove anything

So I was sitting around pushing the pencil aimlessly across the creamy expanse of subtly textured lineless paper (in a black bound leatherette sketch-book), when a thought passed thru some crust in my mind and suddenly occurred to me: What if I'm a fucking genius? Then I realized the sheer impossibility of calculating such a relative phenomena - so I backed off a bit and started to consider what I might have for breakfast. Ah, the eggs and swine! The heartfelt greasy potatoes! In small doses I might eat them and still live. Breakfast, that reminds me, I have a story from Phineas and here it is.

Bordello Breakfast

by PHINEAS
Walking on thru to the other side of the tracks, I paused and caught a whiff of homeless Willie. Howdy, he cried out, can you loan me five bucks! Ain't got nothing now Willie, I'll catch you next time. Next time then, God bless you! (you asshole) Willie replied. With that I moved on toward my primary goal - Velma's "Carnal Cavern" or whorehouse, depending on the vernacular. That would be something, going to one on a Sunday morning but I was not that type. What I wanted was two perfectly poached eggs, two sausage links, two slices of bacon and hash browns. I'm not sure what it is, but Velma's beats everything - even if it just the smell of the breakfast there. Just being there at that time leaves me in a trance. Velma asks, well? I say the usual. A girl comes down to the doorway, looks at me and smiles, she wants me and my money - but I want an egg. Here comes the plate - that old cafeteria style half inch thick china. The food is calling me, saying yes yes.... all for you and every minute you are in heaven... I slow myself down not to miss any of the taste droplets coming off the platter - but it is difficult to reduce my voracity and I go on and on at it... like I haven't eaten in days.
     Having finally quenched my thirst and being absolutely sated, I paid my bill with a more than ample tip, got up and left. I crossed the tracks and spotted two freshly ripened maidens on the tennis courts. Did I say freshly ripened!?? Shame on me! Perhaps it has something to do with these breakfasts, and dinners sometimes and lunch every now and then...then a massage upstairs

Phineas has never been to a whorehouse, nor has he even (knowingly) seen one...

Too Easy! Trumplodytes Unite!

Tired Staff Syndrome

Trump Grabs Conservatives by their essentials, and they love it!

This election season it's not easy to pick something off the beaten path so the staff came up with this - uh, stuff. Yes it's weak and I know they spent the rest of the day playing golf or tennis, but you have to admit this election season has been - brutal. They need a rest.
We'll be back with something juicy - soon. I promise -  Love, Bob

You have got to understand Trump supporters from the over simplified fear that drives them and the hate that results from that fear. It's a one two punch that is very difficult to break down.

Conservative Christians and Donald Trump

Conservative Christians - Three Out Of Four Vote For DT?

Into The Abyss!

Donald Is A Test From God

Who will stop the demon Hillary? We need Donald to save the babies!
Could not God save the babies without so much as a blink? So why does God need Donald?
God needs us to trust Donald and Putin too! Nobody is too imperfect to do his will. God even likes Steve Bannon!

Can't God stop Hillary by himself? Why is it every time God needs something done he has to get Donald to do it? Can't he do anything on his own?

Of course he can, he just doesn't do anything directly anymore.

I'm perplexed. Was there something wrong with interacting directly with man?

God stop doesn't want to be too obvious. That's why he appears to do nothing to stop evil men. But he does stop evil men! 
How is that exactly? Stalin, Pol Pot, among others - they killed millions!
God stopped them, in his own time.
What the hell are you talking about?
Are they not dead?

Life Tips From Mike!

Reasonable application of said tips at user discretion, The Cosmic assumes no legal, moral or scientific obligation heretofore.

Quit Complaining, Blasphemer!

Stop Whining Against God, He's Doing The Best He Can!

commentary...

Donald Trump is the best rightwing Jesus could come up with. Otherwise it's Hillary and her Benghazi stew and basic human rights for (eww!) Blacks and gays and muslims and lions and tigers and bears! Oh my!
Stop complaining. Complaining against God or his chosen one is blasphemy, it's in the bible my friends.

Yes, he is a scum sucking pig but he is God's choice - the one sent to stop the demoness from hell, you must love him otherwise God himself will strike you with a pestilence! It may be blood, frogs, locusts or worse - HIGHER TAXES! That's right, you might pay for some old lady to have a meal now that's she's half blind and can no longer work at McDonalds. Hell, you might have to buy her a cardboard box to live in along with two and a half packs of ramen noodles... Goddamn! Nevermind the trillion dollars you pay to bomb some poor goat-herder south of Aleppo. God is ok with that. But just let that old lady try eating some fish!

Questions from Readers:
I have been in a coma for three years, I awakened today at St Fred's Hospital to see Donald Trump on TV in an ad as the republican Presidential Candidate. I am a conservative. I'm hardworking, gun toting and bible thumping, Does Donald thump the bible?

Sure he does, can't you tell by the fruit he bears?

Could God straighten up all this political mess if he so choosed?
The Cosmic answers: If he chose to he could make you decide to use proper grammar. Hah! But seriously. Sure he could, but how much fun would that be? What do you want? To see reasonable adults talking rationally about complex problems faced by modern society? Oh come on.

Fond Memory - Number Three

Taking a moment away from our ____ idiot prone world, Ken takes a wistful look at the past...

My First Love-s

Kindergarten

She was my first girlfriend and lollipop cute. I remember her on the swings. Our eyes met and in that instant I was hers and she was mine. I yearned for her, I knew not why. It was bliss. Then I met her big ugly sister. Looking at me with disdain, straw colored hair, cold grey eyes and moon shaped freckled face. She scared the hell out of me. I cringed. You people! She said with that face. How could Donna, with the soft dark hair, deep brown eyes and shiny cream colored skin - have such an ugly looking sister? Oh woe, Donna! There was nothing else to be done. I had to end it for I could not deal with her huge fierce looking sister under any circumstance or condition. I could have been braver, but our romance was off limits according to Bob Jones University and it was too much work in general to get around that monstrous third grader. Thus, our twenty five minute romance was cut short - and rather abruptly. On the positive side I never saw her sister again

My next love was not until years later, two to be exact. Her name was Barbara and where Donna's skin was light cream, Barbara's was deep dark chocolate, smooth and tight. I was engulfed in flames again, but she did not know what to make of me and neither did I… I rode to her house about three and a half blocks away on my twenty two inch red, white and black Sears coaster bike. I looked at her front window hoping she might see me, waited around for maybe three minutes, made another slow pass then turned around and rode away. That was about the extent of our torrid affair. It would be four years before I made any attempt to love again.

The Almost Repaired Amp

 Many many years later I found out that Barbara’s father was a TV repairman. I got his number and he almost fixed an old tube type stereo amplifier I had, it looked kind of like the illustration above, it was a beast! Small world indeed. If you were wondering - no I did not try to rekindle anything - actually it was a little embarrassing on some random level. Barbara was not even around and her younger sister was eyeballing me - but I was there on strict business.

 

 

What's The Officer Problem?

No not all of them, THESE

Comments:

June Klybourn, Attica NY writes: The officers wink is on the wrong side, whoever drew this is a moron. 

Bob: Dear June, You are so correct. How this error was passed over by the staff is beyond comprehension. Your forthright disposition makes me want to have sex with you. Are you available?

June: I'll have to ask my husband, who is also my pimp.

Bob: All of a sudden I'm mortified, deflated. My arrogance has run it's course. How much is it?

Only Real Grown-Ups

Deegans'  Take On The Recent "Presidential Debate"

 

Textual Lack of Propriety-Deegan, God awful graphics-TMITH

The Holiness Of Cloth

Cloth, Oh!

 

From the Apostolic Christian grocery store floor managers grey floor length dress to the multi-multi-multi layered Sikh turban. From the Catholic nun's habit to the unending Muslim burkha - there is one point that you cannot miss with prayerfully slight analysis:

"MORE CLOTH = CLOSER TO GOD"

 To that end TMITH and Deegan have designed a religious garment that is heavier and more holy than any on record. Made of pure wool felting that resembles carpeting, the Dabinar "Cross and Moon" is one hundred and seventeen faith restoring pounds of extremely itchy wool. That said the wearer is also aided in fulfilling the ubiquitous statute "MORE PAIN = CLOSER TO GOD". The initial design sketched above may be modified with Kevlar layers to also be bullet resistant. To be released in Paris, summer of 2017.

Questions from Readers
Q. Isn't that the Hyundai logo on the vest?
A. Oh ye of microscopic faith! How many times must I put up with you! Perhaps to those weak in faith, it appears so. Actually it is. They funded the project, but that is not the point here. How is it you miss the point? When one starts to analyze Gods directions you end up on a path of separation. You begin to reason - which takes you to an awareness. That awareness leads you away from the cloth... do not leave the cloth!

Q. I'm Tad. I thought the same when it comes to holiness and picked a marriage mate wrapped up more than any other. When I got her home and unwrapped her I found she was a man. Am I still bound?
A. No. Next time check with her parents! Or you might try ClothMingle.com they usually are pretty good at discerning who's what.

 

Mike Pence Refutes Jesus

...and sends him packing under a ton of rightwing rhetoric

Another Episode of: "Jesus Comes Back Early"
where Jesus tries to remind Mike Pence what an actual Christian is...

Mike Pence, an even bigger arsehole than his running mate

Tonight's players:
 Mike  Pence: as dark ages torture cheerleader, Mike Pence
Jesus: as wine making, crowd feeding, people healing, Jesus

Mike Pence: Hi, I'm Mike Pence, I believe in no name calling in politics, except for when my running mate is doing it.

Jesus: I'm Jesus. Do you actually believe in me?

MP: The demons believe, and they shudder, that's from James 2:19!

J: What? You quote scripture to me? You're the closest thing to a Pharisee I've seen in two thousand years... no, worse. You are worse than a Pharisee!

MP: Hmm, you're a lefty aren't you?

J: Lefty?

MP: Liberal, lefty. You know, all that charity junk, feeding the poor and healing the sick stuff... liberal crap!

 J: You find fault with feeding the poor?

MP: Let 'em get jobs, pull themselves up by their bootstraps!

J: But they haven't any boots... Hey no fair! That's a circular argument!

MP: You know what the bible says? "I have never seen an entirely righteous one forsaken or their children begging for bread...  at Psalm 37:25. Riddle me that, you Jesus you!

J: But the intention... it's not to...
.
MP: Hungry, sick people have to pay to eat and to get well, that's business!

J: What about the fatherless child, the elderly widows...

MP: They should have saved up!

J: With no insurance, while working at Wal-Mart? Children can't save up, that's impossible!

MP: You bleeding heart liberals make me gag.

J:  (getting frustrated) If you won't listen to reason, I'll have to use force!

MP: They won't believe you. You don't scare me "son of man"!




J: You and Trump are offspring of vipers! I'll come down in the middle of a conservative Christian political rally saying “These vile men don't know me or my teachings" While setting you and Donald on fire! Then people will know the truth!   

MP: They still won't believe you. Someone on Fox news will say it was a left-wing liberal Benghazi style plot. You know, they prefer Fox news over you. That's an actual fact.

J: (slightly taken aback) I... I've swayed crowds before. I know I can do it.

MP: Have you seen a crowd of Trump supporters? There's nothing you can say or do to sway them.

J: I'm going back, I can't take it anymore!

MP: See ya, Jesus!!!
Say Jesus, why don't you take these muslims, blacks and gays with ya, I can't figure out why yer old man made them in the first place! So we could have somebody else to hate - I guess.

and so Mike Pence finally started the Armageddon wheel turning.

Synchronism Of The Masses

Once The Masses Are Synchronized The Metal Will Appear

Off His Meds

TMITH missed his meds this morning but we like the picture for some reason. Once the masses are synchronized indeed...

Engine Number 1

Zzen, Sally and Deegan have been dragging this around trying to get some publisher to bite, but the audience is too small and mostly they can't recognize this fine a level of satire...

Grey and Goose

Words: Deegan  -  Pictures: TMITH

The Original Grey Goose Girl

looked like this...

Lost In Translation



The Denby Versions

Denby appears anywhere and asks uncomfortable questions. He could be an unborn child asking his mother why she is so worried about his profession, or a grade school student asking how bombs can come in good and evil - if they all kill people nonetheless...

In this installment, Denby is a ten year old monk in some stone cold monastery somewhere...
We ask you dear reader, which of the two versions, gives you more "feel"?

Zzen/TMITH version






The Zzen/Ken Version - 12/11

Doomed! (Don't be)

Religion Depart-ment

Those who try to find
their spirituality
in a book
of codes and rules
are
doomed to failure.

From: "A Book Of Spiritual Codes And Rules"

----------------------------------------------------

Don't be doomed.
By nature your spirituality is already embedded.
You need no code
You need no rule

You need to be conscious

At Home With Adam and Eve

Religious Drama-rama

Caution: Not for easily frightened adults

Opening scene: Sounds of Adam and Eve enjoying intimacy.
Adam:  Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Ah, Ah, AAWH!
Eve:  Oh, Oh, Yes, Yes, Yes, YES, GOD, YES!
Adam:  Well, I'm not sure what to call it - but it was good.
Eve:  Uh, uh, whew! Yes, why don't you give it a name?
Adam: Maybe after I name the animals - I don't want to over exert myself. Looks like it's time to go to work now. Bye.
Adam takes about eight steps over to a small clearing. Animals have been standing there waiting to be named. There are three.
Adam: What will we name you, little slimy one? How about worm? Yes that's it. Worm. Off you go! Now you! Aren't you large and thick skinned ! How about Rhyno... Rhinoceros! Okay almost done. Finally we get to you, but you look a little warm, we'll call you a snow leopard which is odd because I've never seen snow... Alright. That about wraps it up. Bye.
Well Eve, another hard day of work completed! What fruit did you gather for me?
Eve: I didn't gather you any fruit. You are as close to it as I am. Did God deprive you of the use of your hands and arms?
Adam: Uh er, no.
Eve: Then get your own damn fruit!
Adam goes off to himself.
Adam: This is the life! I eat, do this thing with Eve, name a few animals, eat again, sleep, eat again - yeah!
God: Adam!
Adam: Is that you boss?
God: Get Eve, I have something to say.
Adam: Ok.
Adam and Eve come to a place where God can speak to them with a little less effort.
God: Here over here, this tree, do not eat any of it's fruit. Straight up. You. Will. Die. Note the periods.
Adam: But why are you putting it right in front of us if you don't want us to eat...
God: Don't ask questions! What did I tell you about asking questions?
Adam: Uh, Ok Chief!
Eve: Ok Chief!
Later
Adam: Oh, Oh, Oh, etc.
Eve: Oh, Oh, Oh, etc. About that fruit...
Adam: What about it?
Eve: Let's eat some!
Adam: I wouldn't, I think God is trying to fake us out.
Eve: I'm getting bored while you are at work. I've got nothing to do!
Adam: You could gather me some different fruits for lunch.
Eve: I'll gather you some fruit all right...
Adam: Look, I've gotta go to work.
Later that afternoon...
Satan: Pssst, hey Eve!
Eve: Well lookee here! A talking snake!
Satan: You know you want to eat that fruit, so go on and do it. Do it now. That's when the party starts!
Eve: But God said NO.
Satan: God knows you are going to eat it. I know you are going to eat it. Come on already! We are tired of waiting - watching you and Adam, it's more fun watching the baboons!
Eve: I am kind of bored, really bored.
Satan: God has pre-programmed you with all kinds of exciting behaviors, so many it will make your head spin! That fruit is the uh, "start" button! You won't be bored, I promise you that! I myself am especially looking for one of the programs' sub-routines, it's called "War".
Eve: Well okay, if you say so... war?
Satan: ...and give some to Adam too.
Eve: That's no problem I got 'em eating out of my hands already... But what about the dying part?
Satan: Come on. Everything dies, better to die once than a thousand times over from boredom... (pauses for effect)  Bored for all eternity...
Eve: For all eternity? Let me at that tree!

So it came to pass and there came to be assholes in the land - and they spread their asshole-ry to the four corners of the earth. On account of assholes filling the earth God was irritated, but not enough to actually do anything about it. Then it became 2016.

Semi Organic

Art Department - Mechanized Photo Sculpture

TMITH: Mechanized Photo Sculpture Number One

Freedom Of Religion

You Want Cake With That?

Referring back to the push for “Freedom of Religion” (my religious freedom, not yours) some folks were espousing the value of discriminating against homosexuals. Denying them essentials like pizza or wedding cake. They thought it might make Jesus happy. Indiana Governor Mike Pence liked the idea.

 

Here is a brief story-concept relating to that.

Sometime during the dark ages, when religion blocked the humblest light of science with a huge boulder of ignorance, superstition and a blood soaked sword, there lived a comely wench named Anna.

     Anna was a serving girl in a small proudly insignificant diner in the middle of the known universe of Brayingsville, Indiana. Anna so sweet, pure and absolutely misguided, believed that the lord would bless her little simple soul if only she would refuse service to certain sinners. The problem, which completely escaped Governor Mike Pence and many others of his ilk, was how to tell if the person is gay or heathen or, what!!? After the “freedom of religion” act was passed simple people like Anna were immediately put in a quandary. They would have to ask, who is the sinning miscreant? Then they would immediately have to judge, just like Jesus told them to*.
     Here is what Anna wondered. “What if they look like a gay, but are nearly converted to Christianity?” What if they just appear to be lesbian, like Aunt Dorothy? What if they are Christian but are the wrong kind of Christian - like a Presbyterian - or even worse, a Muslim (Muslims are kind’a Christian ‘cause they believe in Christ - you know?) Or what if they sound and act gay but are controlling their gay impulses - according to the lord? Oh goodness me, it was so much easier when we just served anybody, anybody that had money that is.
      I go to a table to take an order. There was a guy with a bible, and another guy wearing a Mohawk haircut. The bible guy was preaching to the Mohawk guy. I asked myself should I serve one but not the other? I don’t really know if a Mohawk means you are gay or not. I saw an old TV rerun of "The 'A' Team" http://www.nbc.com/classic-tv/the-a-team with a guy named “Mr. T” he had a Mohawk and he did not seem gay at all. Lord help me. Then Father Flemsey came in. I am not sure if what the Johnson's boy said was true or not since the church sent Flemsey away so quick. That was almost fifteen years ago. Well, Father Flemsey comes in with a different style hat, I could not tell if it was Jewish or Muslim hat - but it wasn't Catholic that's for sure and I'm not too sure about those Catholics either... But I'm not judging or anything.

 

*“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? - Matthew 7:1-3
OOPS! He said NOT to judge, oh mercy sweet lord Jesus help me!

A Piece Of The Action

TMITH'S Gallery Showing...

After seeing Zzen and Phineas works in Sally's gallery TMITH wanted to get in on the deal, "a piece of some gallery action" is how he frames it. At some random gallery near Chicago's city center TMITH's "Untrained Cubes" (on the left) and "Hurry... No. 2" on the right are currently on display. TMITH was contacted concerning possible sale of the works and stated, "Not for sale at any time or price under any circumstances."
Faithful readers will recall these works displayed in previous posts... on the right http://artandwordgrinders.blogspot.com/2015/04/hurry.html and on the left http://artandwordgrinders.blogspot.com/2012/01/kickin-it-in-cosmos.html ...




"Untrained Cubes" and Hurry... No. 2" from TMITH - not for sale...

Scrutiny!

Our humility is overwhelming.


At The Gallery

Sally has

opened a small gallery on the fringe of a newly gentrified neighborhood. Phineas has a piece in it entitled "Flexible Erection" see below

Flexible Erection by Phineas

Zzen also has a piece...

Channeling an ancient primitive going by the name "Neesus" Zzen built this clay mask. When awakened from the trance Zzen had no recollection of doing it, nor did he have any inclination to create a sculptural form. "I had only one goal, that was to receive further clarification from ancient masters." he said. Nevertheless, we felt the piece had some redeeming character and feel drawn to it. We call it "The Mask Of Avalon".

 

NEESUS - "The Mask Of Avalon"

Grendel's Mother, Carly!

 I'll Get You And Your Little Dog Too!

Carly Fiorina's disposition and comments about her PP lies remind me of...

The wicked witch from the wizard of Oz...


Malheur, Wait a Minute... Isn't That French?

Bundy Family Values

 

Heroes fighting against America, for America, for a strong Ameri... huh?

(to see full size click image)

Ask The Deacon

What Do You Make Of This?

Concept: Zzen, Graphic: TMITH

 Dear Deacon Jones:

I saw this billboard and it really bothered me. It’s like they blame God for the misery on earth! What do you make of this?

Jon Dekuyper Heiser – Danville, Illinois

Dear Jon:

I like the way you spell it - like you ran out of consonants! At any rate Jon, do not let your heart be troubled. God is not the evil "mastermind behind all creation" that some make him out to be. True, the big "G" created all things - including mans behaviours – Then he gave man the choice - to choose wrongly - and man does that. Whose fault is that? Logic may dictate that is the creators fault, but Deacon Jones say no! Do not let logic dictate when it comes to God! Rational thought has no place in religion.

Dear Deacon Jones:

I saw a billboard and it makes me think God can do whatever he is in the mood for. It’s like he created everything so he gets to destroy it - like a five year old does a tower of blocks he made. What do you think, I’m so confused! I sent a picture of it.

Laura Dekuyper Heiser – Danville, Illinois

Dear Laura:

It is so very hard to believe you are not related to Jon somehow - but at least you spell your name the American way. See here. Let me put it this way. God makes a point in ways that may - to us - appear slightly harsh. Like when David took a census. God had already told him not to but being slightly retarded David did it anyway. Then God killed 70,000 people who had no say in the matter. God is good, do not worry. Those people could have remembered… This is what everyone among those who are numbered shall give: half a shekel according to the shekel of the sanctuary...” (Exodus 30:12-13) But they were goofing off when they went to temple and forgot all about it.

Goldilocks and the Vegetarian Bears

In the woods a girl with golden hair sees a house with the door ajar. Not knowing right from wrong she proceeds to walk right in and eat the owner’s vegetarian stew - somehow believing she had a God given right to it. After stuffing herself she felt tired and decided to sit. She spies a tiny delicate chair and sits down and destroys it with her massive hips. Being somewhat dimwitted she picks another chair, obviously too large as she had to practically climb to get into it. After five uneasy minutes she climbs down and sits in the chair of obvious proportions, finally realizing that what she really wants is a nap. She wanders upstairs to find a place to recline. There are three beds; she picks the two wrong ones first. As soon as she settles in on what should have been the first choice she is fast asleep and snoring loudly.
The owners come home expecting to eat their frugal repast but instead find their home vandalized and call the forest ranger. Instead of Ranger Smith a swat team arrives - guns drawn, seeing the bears as part of a minority of vegetarians they are going to shoot first and ask questions later. The only thing saving the bears was the captain’s recollection of Mrs. Bear making a donation just last week to the policeman’s association. They hold their fire and ask little Goldilocks how she is doing. "I was just taking a nap" she said. She is escorted out and down what appears to be a yellowish brick road. Mr. Bear is fuming because they released Goldilocks on her own recognizance. He is told to stand down, in a rather firm manner.

None of this would have happened if the bears had not decided to become vegetarians - as they would have simply eaten the little thief.

 The moral of the story is this...
You can be a vegetarian, but always lock your doors - even if you live out in the middle of the woods - there may wander in a marauding blonde girl named "havoc" once she gets in all hell will break loose...