Goldilocks and the Vegetarian Bears

In the woods a girl with golden hair sees a house with the door ajar. Not knowing right from wrong she proceeds to walk right in and eat the owner’s vegetarian stew - somehow believing she had a God given right to it. After stuffing herself she felt tired and decided to sit. She spies a tiny delicate chair and sits down and destroys it with her massive hips. Being somewhat dimwitted she picks another chair, obviously too large as she had to practically climb to get into it. After five uneasy minutes she climbs down and sits in the chair of obvious proportions, finally realizing that what she really wants is a nap. She wanders upstairs to find a place to recline. There are three beds; she picks the two wrong ones first. As soon as she settles in on what should have been the first choice she is fast asleep and snoring loudly.
The owners come home expecting to eat their frugal repast but instead find their home vandalized and call the forest ranger. Instead of Ranger Smith a swat team arrives - guns drawn, seeing the bears as part of a minority of vegetarians they are going to shoot first and ask questions later. The only thing saving the bears was the captain’s recollection of Mrs. Bear making a donation just last week to the policeman’s association. They hold their fire and ask little Goldilocks how she is doing. "I was just taking a nap" she said. She is escorted out and down what appears to be a yellowish brick road. Mr. Bear is fuming because they released Goldilocks on her own recognizance. He is told to stand down, in a rather firm manner.

None of this would have happened if the bears had not decided to become vegetarians - as they would have simply eaten the little thief.

 The moral of the story is this...
You can be a vegetarian, but always lock your doors - even if you live out in the middle of the woods - there may wander in a marauding blonde girl named "havoc" once she gets in all hell will break loose...