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Monday, September 19, 2016

The Holiness Of Cloth




Cloth, Oh!

 
From the Apostolic Christian grocery store floor managers grey floor length dress to the multi-multi-multi layered Sikh turban. From the Catholic nun's habit to the unending Muslim burkha - there is one point that you cannot miss with prayerfully slight analysis:
"MORE CLOTH = CLOSER TO GOD"
 To that end TMITH and Deegan have designed a religious garment that is heavier and more holy than any on record. Made of pure wool felting that resembles carpeting, the Dabinar "Cross and Moon" is one hundred and seventeen faith restoring pounds of extremely itchy wool. That said the wearer is also aided in fulfilling the ubiquitous statute "MORE PAIN = CLOSER TO GOD". The initial design sketched above may be modified with Kevlar layers to also be bullet resistant. To be released in Paris, summer of 2017.

Questions from Readers
Q. Isn't that the Hyundai logo on the vest?
A. Oh ye of microscopic faith! How many times must I put up with you! Perhaps to those weak in faith, it appears so. Actually it is. They funded the project, but that is not the point here. How is it you miss the point? When one starts to analyze Gods directions you end up on a path of separation. You begin to reason - which takes you to an awareness. That awareness leads you away from the cloth... do not leave the cloth!

Q. I'm Tad. I thought the same when it comes to holiness and picked a marriage mate wrapped up more than any other. When I got her home and unwrapped her I found she was a man. Am I still bound?
A. No. Next time check with her parents! Or you might try ClothMingle.com they usually are pretty good at discerning who's what.

 

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