Dictionary Of Religious Culture

Deegan's Dictionary Of Current Religious Culture

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In order to create better understanding amongst the throngs of humanity we present this dictionary. Some items may take you by surprise, others you might be familiar with but do not have the authority to actually think about. Deegan gives you the insight, the scriptural basis and the logical application that allows you to think freely, so by all means do so.
Caution: Not for the easily frightened.

Armageddon     Gods recall of man version 1.0. Gods beta version, though fascinating, proves to be full of serious bugs. Humanity 2.0 is promised to be much improved, all of the fun but without the assholes. During the recall expect much terrible bloodletting and woe, as it appears to be required. See Revelation chapters 6 and 9, plus others.

Evolution     1. When something changes without anything acting on it, contrary to all known physical law. The first man evolved and his sexual counterpart evolved also - just at the right time - to procreate. (The first man said to the woman " I am glad you showed up, I did not know who I was going to bonk" ) also see Probability-2
2. Something that has been going on continuously for billions of years, that just stopped when we started paying attention.  Some point to a different color bean or moth as evolution, but higher level evolution - HAS STOPPED, perhaps even going in reverse. People are getting dumber and dumber, as evidenced by the 'murican 2016 election result.

God     1. He who makes it (everything). Maker of: roses, that funny smelling plant in somebody's grand aunts house, (I think it's Wisteria - eww!) petunias, scorpions, bedbugs, sex, sunlight, cool breezes on hot summer days and an unlimited assortment of assholes who keep coming back.
2. He who punctuates a serious discussion by killing people. During the time of the prophets, some children had the stupid gall to make fun of  Elisha (Gods' brand new prophet) as he walked up the road saying, "Go up you baldhead!". Usually smart ass kids respond well to some minor beating, starving or other abuse, but in this case God had a couple of bears (who were on their menstrual cycles) come down and tear forty two of them to pieces. See 2 Kings 2:23 also see Probability-1.

Conservatism    1. A culture of hypocrisy enlarged and magnified to the point of being undetectable by practitioners though obvious to all others. 2. Busybodies, constantly minding other peoples' business - to their detriment. "We want to make sure that nine year old child does not receive a free lunch because, God." also see Probability-3. 3. A group defined by unbelievably irrational thought processes. When they get attacked by a group of homeless people (while trying to get off the exit ramp near Denny's) their response will be to buy the local police department a Sherman tank, chain guns and rocket launchers.

Probability, Laws of: - Something to ignore altogether.  

1-Ignoring the laws of probability, one could actually believe that forty two children would wait around to be ripped to shreds by a couple of bears. It takes at least four seconds per child, did they wait in line for their turn?

2-Ignoring the laws of probability one could believe that the during crap shoot of evolution two humans arrived at the same point of evolution in the same vicinity, with just the right combination, time and sex - somewhere within a billion years. 
3-Ignoring the laws of probability conservatives believe that a society with more lower paid, desperately poor, physically and mentally ill people will somehow be a safer and stronger society. "We basically paid him less and less for more work year by year to increase profits and to build character within his mortal soul. We stand by our actions and believe in Jesus." 

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