New Administration Auto
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| My Twin Briggs and Stratton's - Jeff said Tecumseh's were "too indian" |
I needed to get my car serviced and I saw a sign. Greasy was
the proprietor of “New Administration Auto” and his master mechanic was named
Weasel Jeff. Greasy called him his ‘canic - instead of “mechanic” which was
different I thought, (I found out why later).
I should have been alerted when I
saw the small sign over the office door. It read, “NO SCIENCE – JUST HAMMERS”.
Another sign nearby reads “KEEP IT SIMPLE, DUMB & SIMPLER”. For some
inexplicable reason I let them take my car anyway, maybe I felt they were just
being direct.
Later I come back to pick up my car. I notice on the side of the garage an auto engine that looked oddly familiar. I asked to
look under the hood and came to find two lawnmower engines. I asked what the
hell was going on and Weasel Jeff says, “The engine you had was too science-y”.
“Too SCIENCE-Y?!! Jeff replies, “At New Administration Auto we try to get rid
of things we don't like or just destroy them, then we figure out something to replace ‘em!” I’m
good at lawnmowers. We also removed most of your wires, all that electrical
stuff reminded us of them scientist people, ain’t no need for all that!” I was
too stunned to speak. “Don’t worry you’ll get used to the way she runs, just
watch!” Weasel Jeff fires up the car, smoke billows out. It was just awful.
Jeff pops his head out and yells “We shook it up for you!” I was going to stuff
Jeff in the tailpipe - then I caught sight of Greasy. I yelled, "This is insane, I’m suing!" Greasy
just smiled and said “All my customers love me, I’ve got the best service!”
Weasel Jeff just smirked with his little pointy ears saying “Sue Greasy? You
an’ about a thousand others. Hah! Any further speech was pointless. I got in my
twin engine swindle-mobile to drive off. Then I noticed the protective paper
mat on the floor, it read “YOUR CAR HAS BEEN MADE GREAT AGAIN”
Lesson learned.
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