Enchanted By One Another's Buttocks

Random Musings From The Gang...

Where the Cosmic Staff just lets loose a little...

The Man from Outer Space Asks:

Why are humans so enchanted by one another’s buttocks?

Lets go somewhere and start a story. How about a...

LOG CABIN

On the edge of the wood there is a log cabin with a bear inside of it and two dead vacationers. It’s sad because the bear thought they might taste good, but they tasted like shit.

Whoa! That sounds too dark and miserable; let’s move our outing to a nice sunny beach instead…

SUNNY BEACH

It is hot and the stench from the dead fish is overwhelming. There are too many people and not enough chairs and umbrellas. The sun is pounding your skin cells to bits so you put on some sun screen that is a bit out of date and smells weird. Could this outing get any worse? This homeless guy shows up trying to sell you a free community newspaper for two bucks. You feel for the trapdoor lever six inches off your right hip just beneath the sand. Before he can make his next entreaty you pull the lever and he is gone, with a “hey!” and then a fading “aaaaaah!” They have assured you that persons of this nature who go down the sand traps are provided three square meals, bathing facilities and rehab for whatever it is that makes them a little less functional than you.

 You are still sitting on a towel in the hot sand, surveying the immediate vicinity of not so lovely beach bodies and an aura of fish, sun tan lotion and stifling heat. Over yonder is a stand selling cold beer at a price that is only two times the square of what it cost at the grocers. You wade through the bodies and get in line. The worker says “What’ll it be?”, as if he actually had a selection, so you ask for a large lite. They also have hotdogs - tasty tubes filled with finely ground beast-parts flavored with garlic and tons of salt. These will kill your old ass - so you decline. Your body is still whining from yesterday’s beer drench and taco demolition. In minutes you are back at your towel in the hot sand and a lady just six inches off your right hip says “Don’t I know you?” you say “It depends on where I am in this series of beers.” She says “What?!!” You say “I’m sorry, do me a favor - sit right here - I think I lost something in the sand there.” She moves to the same spot the homeless guy was standing a while back. You grope around in the sand for a few seconds, pause, and pull the lever. There is an “Oh?!!” and then an “EEEEK!” that fades away down the tube. They have assured you that merely annoying people will be returned to the surface only hours after capture. You will be gone by the time she returns. Somehow the second beer tastes better.

That was better! I’m going to the beach right now!

Hey! When are you going to come

up with something positive and light with sunshine and cool breezes butterflies and German chocolate cake (gluten-free) that actually tastes good? - Martin Kleptzer - Tangly, Oregon

Martin since you asked, the next post will be light as a feather and go down easier than fine wine. This Friday.