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| Man & Wife on a Tuesday Afternoon - Various States |
...and then I looked up in the sky and saw a giant truck tire with a big ass eyeball in the middle of it, the eye rolled and looked at me, consequently I began to think it to be of no real importance, just a bit of indigestion causing a bad dream, but then it started talking saying: "Tell the fifteen tribes of Telamec to repent of their sins or the nations to the north will come down and kick all off their asses!"
In response I said; "They're always doing that shit, tell me something new, magic eyeball!"
His eye rotated this way and that and he said: "For your insolence, we will put dirt on your head and ashes on your shirt and you will repent for thirty days while paying taxes, sending faxes and playing jack(es). So I proceeded to gather up my shit, pulled out my rubber ball and ten metal jacks, and shunning shampoo I pushed the send button and the IRS got theirs. My cigar released a wad of ashes down the middle of my white shirt and I faxed the lawyer the final documents of my integration.
After all of these things they came to grab me and stone me for being a spirit medium. I said "Hold it your material-imperialness, it is the tire in the sky that spoke these things, not me!" They returned that I was the only one hearing these things - and thusly, most obviously, and most definitely are a witch, plus you are an asshole, and you must be tortured to death, - so what's it going to be, burning or stoning?
I said look up in the sky, see, THE TIRE! Then I punched the guy on the right in the throat and kicked the other guy in the nuts, the opportunity to escape actually materialized and I ran - "like hell".
They caught me and beat the shit out of me and were prepping me for a burning when all the sudden the TIRE FROM HEAVEN came down and ran all their asses over, flattening them and certainly bringing them to ruin - in a cartoonlike manner.
So appreciative of my narrow escape - and to the best of my ability, I repented from being an asshole and continued for many years - but not without some other bullshit comin up ever' now and then, I mean, what the fuck??! When can I get a fucking break!
Deegan still has not mastered the finer art of communicating without using vulgar slang like some misbegotten scalawag, but we will teach him...
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| Bee by TMITH |
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| LaGonda - Final State |
There was a time when we didn't have to tell people to drink water, they kinda just knew - Kirk out
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