Bums In Trees

Bums Livin In Trees!
Look up, be up, do up, see up -
look it, see it, be it, live it! But get outta my tree you bum!
I was going to be a bum living in a tree but Reynard, Sally, TMITH, and Deegan would not come with me - Zzen didn't care one way or the other. The internet provider needed a real address, not "the big oak 100 feet west of the CN South Holland railroad track yard's southernmost switch with a truck tyre at it's base". So I gave up trying to live the "High Life" and remained electronically ambulatory. I will reside with all the rest.




Cycleta Eats - by Ken

Feel The Now

Why are you stressed my son?
I have forgotten the path, Master.

Have you truly forgotten? Or has your ego overtaken you such that you believe you are above the universal law?
It is as you say, Master.
Then you are free from now from your stress, resume your position and remember where you are. You simply abandoned your immediate position and took a spot in the past or future, two places you can never be.
But, the future is my master!

If that is the case you are truly lost.
But Master, Let me illustrate. A train approaches, I stand in the trackway, in the future I will be hit if I don't... 


If you are going to use a false illustration, I will have to beat you with a stick!
So many trains though Master!

Oh, I see. You are overly concerned with things you cannot control. Here let me...

-SMACK!- (light bamboo stick to the head)

Owww! Master stop please! You are consumed with things beyond your grasp. You fail to see the beauty and peace available to you now, also you did not duck. You are here now, not tomorrow, not yesterday. Be here, watch for the bamboo stick, see the intense beauty of the flower. Marvel at your ability to merely think, wonder in the air surrounding you. Assume your place. Be in the universe at the time it exists.

I feel the now now, Master.
Indeed.


"Pessimism" - By TMITH

TRYONGESS

Tryongess is the third planet from the Naltan Sun. It is inhabited by semi-foolish beings who are always trying to figure out why and when and what-for do the things occur. They create hardened code which allows them to pretend they know. If they think they know they can relax and suspend reality, pretending it is not there.

They also waste precious time bowing down to the hardened code. They cannot hear it or taste it but they know it exists because it really does exist, except that it is simply not the code they actually see in their little heads but something incalculable and unquestioningly undefinable.

It is really not hard at all.

Ripples Through Reality



Over The Hills - by Ken

Ripples Through Reality

You think that it is enough to simply exist but, hut hut - hut! It's never enough. When has it ever been, for anybody? You got one, now you want five and that's cool, otherwise you'd be standing around collecting dust and we have met the dusty ones and they are not usually desirable to hang around with. So it is with the human condition - which we have been given the ability to question, analyze and philosophize "at" but not the capability to actually "correct" (because once corrected, true boredom sets in).
      So the struggle or "jihad" continues unimpeded throughout the centuries and also throughout your own few decades of awareness. Stumbling upon the error filled information fed to you by those who would manipulate you for their own interests, you attempt to live a certain pro- or pre-"scribed" life or lifestyle, failing and succeeding, helping and damning. The circular flux of your existence few see and even fewer comprehend deeply. Even you don't know the full impact of your life - as it ripples through reality.

Study for "Allegorically Bad Fish with Bowl, Breasts and Tomato on a Bad table"

Touch Someone
I prevailed upon myself these comments and actions and decided to touch as many people as I could, so I would be remembered as "Someone who touched many". So I went and touched people. Few understood, I was hit and beaten often, arrested, jailed and then they explained that I had the wrong concept of "touching". So I discontinued my original quest and began "feeling" instead. I felt as many people as I could find, but to no avail - my energy fades -  few could see the genuine care I demonstrated, the tender caresses... but I must get back to you on these on these matters, just as soon as I am released from the hospital.





The Hidden Beauty of Urban Grit - by TMITH

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Who Are These People?

Who are these people and why do they use such foul language?
That is a fine question coming from a squirrel embalmer such as yourself, but since we at the Cosmic are so multinational, orchestrational and consequential we do not deign to reject inquiries from rapscallions, muppets, or even kings.

The Cosmic staff is as follows:
Deegan
The Man In the Hat (or TMITH)
Reynard
Sally
Zzen
Ken (the art guy who sometimes speaks but is never heard)

The foul language is thrust upon us by Deegan, Reynard and sometimes TMITH. Their intent is to maintain an aura of "reality" but they basically just weaken the statements they attempt to make. Therefore future installments will become bereft* of undue strong language. The only time we will say a "f**king" curse word is when we are driven to it, or if a character in one of our fine story snippets is prone or required to curse in order to remain in character.
     Speaking of characters - Deegan just asked who made the inquiry as to his colorful diatribes so that he may grab them and beat the "shiite" out of them - so if I were you I'd just put some money in the donation box and leave now, unless you desire to be beaten so you may become clean, which is an entirely different matter altogether.

*You thought "bereft" was a "bad word" and you were right! In the year 1357.5 the root of bereft was associated with "people who thought too much and were probably witches" and if you said it you stood a good chance of being "sawed asunder" just like a prophet! I thought you might like to know before we beat you up.

"Power" by Ken

Breast-Nipple
In the Golden Age which we are now living one may see murders and mayhem, one can personally watch the stoning of a defenseless woman, but one cannot see a womans breast-nipple. That is the height of blasphemous behavior, so cut that ____ out. 

If You Could See It, It Would Have Been There by TMITH

Big Head

Hot Kirby by TMITH

My head is too big. My ego, monstrous beast, has taken me over with a grip of iron that cannot be defeated. The ego-lust slows my growth like an iron band around a tree trunk. I cannot be wrong and I know more than you - or your ancestors. I strain and wheeze gasping for the air of something new but am strangled by the net of the know-it-all. I'd like to water my garden with the vast expanses of wisdom from all corners of the universe, but my watering can is already full. Woe is me that I cannot be emptied so that I may be filled again. I cannot enter a new room - mainly because my head won't fit.

But in the same instant I can see something pushing, not sure if it is a sprig or sprout, between the fingers of the muscular beasts' hands, he is surprised and little pieces of him start to crack and little vines push outward between the crevices. The ego beast takes on a greenish apperarance as he is softened by the lush growth of a new life humble. He sits crosslegged amidst the meadow and dew actually transforming, becoming a pile of flowers - attracting honey bees and stares of well wishing onlookers.

So my head became human sized once more, proportionate, and now for an instant, I am at peace.

A scene from Reynards upcoming short "Time Machine Nigger"

 

Zzen and TMITH work together in the kitchen, but cook no food...
Formica? NO!
I gaze out over my artificial stone counter feeling satisfied to have acheived, at least in my kitchen, a semi permanent state. My counter will not warp or chip unless you hit it with a cast iron skillet (which someone did right there, dammit!). Oh if only all of you could enjoy an artificial stone countertop by the sinks of your lives! Your joy would only be transcended by the solid marble bathtub I'm soaking in as I dictate this message to my secretary-masseuse, the non-concubinical Sally. Please note that the solid gold fittings bend too easy, so I am going with an alloy. If only your minds could comprehend that, then you would see the full extent right before you - Look! The cedars of Abalonica! That is another thing I have so in abundance, solid wood panels. Fine cedar and oak in all the recreational and study areas - it re-arranges your mind just looking at it. Always remember that these things are dwarfed by the vastness of my interior estate...and as it is with me, myself, are not to be envied...
So what lesson are we experiencing today? It is this. Do not buy chip-board counters faced with bonded crackable plastic. These cannot possibly reflect the infinite realm. They are simply too cheap. Go with stone, or have them pour fine concrete finished with hand rubbed linseed oil and stained, giving a depth and strength most commensurate with a zen stroke. If you cannot afford these things a simple pine board will do, at the right moment the heavens will open and you may peruse the limitless possibilities of an artificial stone top. Peace and patience be with you - you who wait with cosmic authority.

On a beautiful warm day such as this... it is good to have one's shit together...

Deegans' Crude Prophesy

DEEGAN writes to us his crude vision,  his undertaken visit to other realms - Crude Prophesy No. 1...very crude indeed, Mr Deegan...

Man & Wife on a Tuesday Afternoon - Various States



Eyeball In The Sky
...and then I looked up in the sky and saw a giant truck tire with a big ass eyeball in the middle of it, the eye rolled and looked at me, consequently I began to think it to be of no real importance, just a bit of indigestion causing a bad dream, but then it started talking saying: "Tell the fifteen tribes of Telamec to repent of their sins or the nations to the north will come down and kick all off their asses!"
    In response I said; "They're always doing that shit, tell me something new, magic eyeball!"
His eye rotated this way and that and he said: "For your insolence, we will put dirt on your head and ashes on your shirt and you will repent for thirty days while paying taxes, sending faxes and playing jack(es). So I proceeded to gather up my shit, pulled out my rubber ball and ten metal jacks, and shunning shampoo I pushed the send button and the IRS got theirs. My cigar released a wad of ashes down the middle of my white shirt and I faxed the lawyer the final documents of my integration.
    After all of these things they came to grab me and stone me for being a spirit medium. I said "Hold it your material-imperialness, it is the tire in the sky that spoke these things, not me!" They returned that I was the only one hearing these things - and thusly, most obviously, and most definitely are a witch, plus you are an asshole, and you must be tortured to death, - so what's it going to be, burning or stoning?
I said look up in the sky, see, THE TIRE! Then I punched the guy on the right in the throat and kicked the other guy in the nuts, the opportunity to escape actually materialized and I ran -  "like hell".
     They caught me and beat the shit out of me and were prepping me for a burning when all the sudden the TIRE FROM HEAVEN came down and ran all their asses over, flattening them and certainly bringing them to ruin - in a cartoonlike manner.
    So appreciative of my narrow escape - and to the best of my ability, I repented from being an asshole and continued for many years - but not without some other bullshit comin up ever' now and then, I mean, what the fuck??! When can I get a fucking break!

Deegan still has not mastered the finer art of communicating without using vulgar slang like some misbegotten scalawag, but we will teach him...



Bee by TMITH

Now we begin writing unproven and unprovoked thoughts, you squirm because you don't want to sit thru it but you must!

LaGonda - Final State

There was a time when we didn't have to tell people to drink water, they kinda just knew - Kirk out