Complaint Dept.
To the Cosmic editor
I must take issue with "The
First Asshole". Here you are making fun of the lord! Such blasphemous
speech would get you tortured to death back in the biblical days! You would be
stoned, set on fire or both!
(name witheld)
Dear Nameless
Are you saying Adam was without sin? Or that somehow you aren't? I'm
sorry, you were born in it. That makes you an asshole. The fact that you
believe my writers posts should meet criteria developed in a prepubescent
Sunday school mind - is case in point. You reference stoning too! How cute!
Dear Deegan
Everybody is not an asshole, why
do you say mean things? I’m not an asshole.
Shane Melvin-Greer, Tangly Oregon
Dear Shane
(Can I call you Tangly? It’s such a cool name)
We had
just finished watching about seven minutes of the republican “debate” (that’s
all we could stand) and it so darkened our worldview that we – by extension -
attached all of no-reason-for-living humanity to that event. We now realized
humans were created with fear and hate buttons. The buttons can be pressed
by any random asshole - say Carly Fiorina - and an asshole with a gun will just run with it. See proof below. Now back
to you Tangly, you are a truly beautiful sensitive soul… but you're still a little asshole.
It’s ok really, you are not a Carly Fiorina type asshole - more of a minor league one…
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| One of Adams offspring: "I killed 'cause killin' is wrong" - proof of genetic assholery |
Yosemite Sam For Republican Presidential Candidate
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| His likes guns, but probably is not racist enough |
I keep waiting for Donald Trump to say "I'm the rootin-est, tootin-est, shootin-est..."
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