What's The Officer Problem?

No not all of them, THESE

Comments:

June Klybourn, Attica NY writes: The officers wink is on the wrong side, whoever drew this is a moron. 

Bob: Dear June, You are so correct. How this error was passed over by the staff is beyond comprehension. Your forthright disposition makes me want to have sex with you. Are you available?

June: I'll have to ask my husband, who is also my pimp.

Bob: All of a sudden I'm mortified, deflated. My arrogance has run it's course. How much is it?

Only Real Grown-Ups

Deegans'  Take On The Recent "Presidential Debate"

 

Textual Lack of Propriety-Deegan, God awful graphics-TMITH

The Holiness Of Cloth

Cloth, Oh!

 

From the Apostolic Christian grocery store floor managers grey floor length dress to the multi-multi-multi layered Sikh turban. From the Catholic nun's habit to the unending Muslim burkha - there is one point that you cannot miss with prayerfully slight analysis:

"MORE CLOTH = CLOSER TO GOD"

 To that end TMITH and Deegan have designed a religious garment that is heavier and more holy than any on record. Made of pure wool felting that resembles carpeting, the Dabinar "Cross and Moon" is one hundred and seventeen faith restoring pounds of extremely itchy wool. That said the wearer is also aided in fulfilling the ubiquitous statute "MORE PAIN = CLOSER TO GOD". The initial design sketched above may be modified with Kevlar layers to also be bullet resistant. To be released in Paris, summer of 2017.

Questions from Readers
Q. Isn't that the Hyundai logo on the vest?
A. Oh ye of microscopic faith! How many times must I put up with you! Perhaps to those weak in faith, it appears so. Actually it is. They funded the project, but that is not the point here. How is it you miss the point? When one starts to analyze Gods directions you end up on a path of separation. You begin to reason - which takes you to an awareness. That awareness leads you away from the cloth... do not leave the cloth!

Q. I'm Tad. I thought the same when it comes to holiness and picked a marriage mate wrapped up more than any other. When I got her home and unwrapped her I found she was a man. Am I still bound?
A. No. Next time check with her parents! Or you might try ClothMingle.com they usually are pretty good at discerning who's what.

 

Mike Pence Refutes Jesus

...and sends him packing under a ton of rightwing rhetoric

Another Episode of: "Jesus Comes Back Early"
where Jesus tries to remind Mike Pence what an actual Christian is...

Mike Pence, an even bigger arsehole than his running mate

Tonight's players:
 Mike  Pence: as dark ages torture cheerleader, Mike Pence
Jesus: as wine making, crowd feeding, people healing, Jesus

Mike Pence: Hi, I'm Mike Pence, I believe in no name calling in politics, except for when my running mate is doing it.

Jesus: I'm Jesus. Do you actually believe in me?

MP: The demons believe, and they shudder, that's from James 2:19!

J: What? You quote scripture to me? You're the closest thing to a Pharisee I've seen in two thousand years... no, worse. You are worse than a Pharisee!

MP: Hmm, you're a lefty aren't you?

J: Lefty?

MP: Liberal, lefty. You know, all that charity junk, feeding the poor and healing the sick stuff... liberal crap!

 J: You find fault with feeding the poor?

MP: Let 'em get jobs, pull themselves up by their bootstraps!

J: But they haven't any boots... Hey no fair! That's a circular argument!

MP: You know what the bible says? "I have never seen an entirely righteous one forsaken or their children begging for bread...  at Psalm 37:25. Riddle me that, you Jesus you!

J: But the intention... it's not to...
.
MP: Hungry, sick people have to pay to eat and to get well, that's business!

J: What about the fatherless child, the elderly widows...

MP: They should have saved up!

J: With no insurance, while working at Wal-Mart? Children can't save up, that's impossible!

MP: You bleeding heart liberals make me gag.

J:  (getting frustrated) If you won't listen to reason, I'll have to use force!

MP: They won't believe you. You don't scare me "son of man"!




J: You and Trump are offspring of vipers! I'll come down in the middle of a conservative Christian political rally saying “These vile men don't know me or my teachings" While setting you and Donald on fire! Then people will know the truth!   

MP: They still won't believe you. Someone on Fox news will say it was a left-wing liberal Benghazi style plot. You know, they prefer Fox news over you. That's an actual fact.

J: (slightly taken aback) I... I've swayed crowds before. I know I can do it.

MP: Have you seen a crowd of Trump supporters? There's nothing you can say or do to sway them.

J: I'm going back, I can't take it anymore!

MP: See ya, Jesus!!!
Say Jesus, why don't you take these muslims, blacks and gays with ya, I can't figure out why yer old man made them in the first place! So we could have somebody else to hate - I guess.

and so Mike Pence finally started the Armageddon wheel turning.

Synchronism Of The Masses

Once The Masses Are Synchronized The Metal Will Appear

Off His Meds

TMITH missed his meds this morning but we like the picture for some reason. Once the masses are synchronized indeed...

Engine Number 1

Zzen, Sally and Deegan have been dragging this around trying to get some publisher to bite, but the audience is too small and mostly they can't recognize this fine a level of satire...

Grey and Goose

Words: Deegan  -  Pictures: TMITH

The Original Grey Goose Girl

looked like this...

Lost In Translation