The Chess Game Of God

It Came To Pass...

    ...that the people themselves, the insolent faithless crowd, ones throbbing in the turbulent sea of their own filth, these very ones came to say, Who made us like this? Who created such an abhorrence? Who made man weak and slimy and then proceeded to fill the earth with so many egregiously huge assholes? Who? Was it you, oh God?

1. Then God, filled with patience and love, broke it down for them in as many ways possible, each according to their own race, culture and climate. He made ways for each man to own God as his very own creation and claim practically anything that occurred as a sign from him. How can I miss? said God to himself. Then he sat back and watched as it began to unfold.
2. The people did not cut the mustard. Their hypocrisy was so great the heavens themselves groaned and shuddered. Their stupidity and ignorance was only surpassed by their hate.
3. God said to himself, I do not make any mistakes. Therefore this shit is unreal. Accordingly, God declared that everything he does is perfect.
4. The people though sitting and staring around with water-heads and lost within the confines of their own useless minds said "Huh? We don't understand!" Then somebody somewhere yelled "CHEESE!" or some other outstandingly inarticulate term - and all the people got up, yelled "WAR!" and began slaughtering each other with a great slaughter - also destroying the earth, air and sea. God watched slightly amused, then he grew bored.
5. God then declared man to be a bad tenant, the worse kind actually, who not only does not pay his rent but destroys the property as well. God then said "I have got to get man off of the earth altogether, for he sucks in more ways than is permissible to count, even for me.
6. So God stopped watching the affairs of humans and instead set a time to come back and Shop-Vac™ man from the face of the earth. "They are no longer on point", said God.
7. You then know your time is coming, with a great "whooshing" sound it will arrive and no one will escape. Not even the assholes who think they know God. Actually he will come for them first, they will get caught in the great HEPA® filter of their own hypocrisy.

See here,
I did not make assholes, they made themselves. Says it in my book. See! I set the whole thing in motion and made it possible but, hey you don't get to ask any questions of me. So beat it. 
Yours Truly
GOD