Chess Piece Thursday - Porno Flor-Duh

TMITH - THE KNIGHT designed for the Cosmic's own chess games

Please don't steal my chess design, I'm hoping to sell it for a million dollars (after I finish it) so I can pay for "healthcare" after I retire. Five more pieces and I can afford a trip to the emergency room in the year 2022.

A Salt Rifle

I need one to carry to the salt mines. No one knows I work in the mines. I wear a suit and tie on the train then switch to coveralls when I get there.  Never mind that though, the point here is this.
      When I use a single shot rifle I can never kill the rabbit, but salt rifles give me more shots at the varmint. When I hit 'em there is usually not much left, they are all shredded fur and blood. It's hard to pick out the meat. That is the price you pay. Additionally if you graze one and he becomes enraged who knows what he might do to you? With salt rifles I can hit him ten more times before he can think about it.

Flor-Duh

From a politician down in Florduh: "People die. That's automatic. What's not automatic is the money I get from the NRA. I have to earn it. That is why I always say no to any kind of gun control whatsoever. Why do I even have to explain the obvious to you people? Are you slow? Maybe you deserve to get (shot). Pornography, now there is a problem that won't be bribed away!. Now get out of my office before I call security. Does security carry AR-15's? You bet they do!"

Comments

Siggy - You mean assault don't you?
I don't care how you spell it, just as long as it'll put out fifteen rounds in two seconds. You know even when I'm cross eyed it makes me feel like I can shoot anything, even Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner.
Healthcare, what's with the quotes?
The quotes are there because it has become more scam than health.
What would 'Marcus Welby' say?
Good old Marcus Welby would say "fuck this shit". They all say it - that is until they wave all that money under their noses, then they - like many others in their profession - would succumb and be grafted into a system so filled with corruption it has doubled over into itself. But on a more positive note... we have progressed from medieval times when only the rich could afford quality healthcare and superstitious religion was used all over people. Have we not?