He Ain't Heavyby Deegan |
| Photo of Mojave - Avondale County Records |
Little Timmy was
full of confidence and knew he could get Dussen to Doc Tammy’s cabin even
though it was freezing. “He ain’t heavy he’s my brother!” he thought to himself
- proud to be carrying his older brother through the four inches of snow.
Now
the lord happened to be nearby and sensing a bit too much braggadocio in Lil’ Timmy
decided to transfer him to the middle of the Mojave desert, with his older
broken legged brother still on his back. Just to re-instill some humility.
Then the LORD said, “We will now see how heavy Dussen is. When Little Timmy giveth
himself over to me and realizes he hath no power, I will save him.” The LORD
said this in a voice simulating fifteenth century English - because it’s so cool.
Timmy
suddenly realized the air was no longer cold and wet but hot and dry, and he
was no longer sixty feet from Doc Tammy’s cabin. Instead he was out in the
middle of the desert with big assed broken legged Dussen on his back. “This
sucks terribly” said Little Timmy. Little Timmy struggled on for about four
hundred and fifty yards, urged on by a talking shrubbery run by one of Satan's third class demons. Only moments later Timmy collapsed in the midday sun.
Meanwhile,
the LORD was distracted by one of the several hundred thousand earthly wars and
skirmishes he likes to watch and totally forgot about Little Timmy and Dussen.
You may ask how could the LORD be distracted, that is because the lord has a little ADD. Now don't get all in a huff and angry with me, I'm not a blast-femur*, no sir. God created man in his own image! That is why you see these bones in the sand here today. The Big Mojave has so many
stories to tell.
Happier Ending department
Everybody is whining about "the comedy being too dark" so Phineas comes over and slaps on a happy ending, here it is...
Wake up Little Timmy, wake up! You hit your head when you slipped on that icy stone. Dussen was able to drag himself over to my door using his arms and I got you and brought you to the cabin. You were having an awful dream about a desert and a burning bush, but you and Dussen are gonna be just fine. I already phoned your Ma. "Gee thanks Doctor Tammy!", cried Little Timmy, I guess I couldn't really carry him after all. "Thats right you little knucklehead", said Doc Tammy.
*blasphemer
Story roots from Jimney Satchel Reginald Bartholomew, adapted by Deegan for use in the Cosmic. If you are ever out Avondale County way look up old Satch' and he'll tell you a story or two. (Some people call him 'Bart-O') If you see him tell ol' Jimney the Cosmic people sent you!
GRUMPY BURGER!
People keep asking us: Where's PHINEAS!?? You remember that story with the babbling raven that gets killed? Yeah, the one that got critically acclaimed except not in a good way. http://artandwordgrinders.blogspot.com/2015/04/roadbed-thru-sea.html Well the writer of that hack job is coming up with something else that has far too many references to the sale of carnalities in it, but we are giving him a shot anyway because he's so cheap. Next Post: "Bordello Breakfast"
Happier Ending department
Everybody is whining about "the comedy being too dark" so Phineas comes over and slaps on a happy ending, here it is...
Wake up Little Timmy, wake up! You hit your head when you slipped on that icy stone. Dussen was able to drag himself over to my door using his arms and I got you and brought you to the cabin. You were having an awful dream about a desert and a burning bush, but you and Dussen are gonna be just fine. I already phoned your Ma. "Gee thanks Doctor Tammy!", cried Little Timmy, I guess I couldn't really carry him after all. "Thats right you little knucklehead", said Doc Tammy.
*blasphemer
Story roots from Jimney Satchel Reginald Bartholomew, adapted by Deegan for use in the Cosmic. If you are ever out Avondale County way look up old Satch' and he'll tell you a story or two. (Some people call him 'Bart-O') If you see him tell ol' Jimney the Cosmic people sent you!
GRUMPY BURGER!
 |
| Words: Deegan, Imagery: TMITH |
People keep asking us: Where's PHINEAS!?? You remember that story with the babbling raven that gets killed? Yeah, the one that got critically acclaimed except not in a good way. http://artandwordgrinders.blogspot.com/2015/04/roadbed-thru-sea.html Well the writer of that hack job is coming up with something else that has far too many references to the sale of carnalities in it, but we are giving him a shot anyway because he's so cheap. Next Post: "Bordello Breakfast"
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