Golden Yo-Yos

The Golden Yo-Yo by TMITH

Semi-Divine Expressions?

It is easy to claim to be receiving inspired sayings from angels. I have a book by a lady who claims that very thing. What I find fascinating is that if the lady made a the claim that she was inspired by God they would say she was a heretic or insane. No one can challenge that she is inspired by angels because it stands on no ground, which angel? Angel number seven or Bob the angel? The only way you can challenge her sayings is by paying attention to the fact that many of them are stupider* than hell. The measuring device used to determine where the utterance/inspiration originates is something no one really cares to discuss or even try to show me. Being inspired by angels is not actually a solid classification. It is nearer to being inspired by looking at a leaf very closely whilst outdoors, something on that order, very easy to claim. I on the other hand saw a vision. A vision is of a much greater magnitude in the hierarchy of inspired-ness.
I saw angels with golden Yo-Yos, each Yo-Yo emitting wonderful sounds while the angels did tricks with them. The tricks were not that great though, they were run of the mill stuff, like walk the dog and cat’s cradle. If you looked at their faces you would think they were competing for the Olympics or something, they were so intense. But the sound emanating from the Yo-Yos was awesome. The Yo-Yos themselves were solid gold Duncan Imperials**, very heavy. One of the angels faltered on a trick and the Yo-Yo slipped and hit him square in the forehead - leaving a mark, it staggered him for a moment but he got right back into it. He did an 'around the world' and went directly into a cradle without a re-launch, I must admit, that was pretty slick stuff.

*Rhymes with Jupiter, really dumb-as-shit stuff. **One of the best!

Don't Judge

Really accept. Don't whine, many wish they had half the life (or food) you do. Now just let those few brain particles you have left rest on that thought.
Okay, enough thinking, clean up in aisle seven!

Aisle Seven

"I died and went to heaven, they sent me back to clean up aisle seven"
How come people always breaking shit in aisle seven? I bet If I died on the job they would resurrect me just to clean up that broken relish jar.

"It's hard but it's fair and only the pure in heart shall survive" - Reynards grade school gym teacher just before he made everybody duck walk.

I finally bought a can of shoe polish but it just stands there staring longingly at my shoes, nothing happens.

Free Will

It is time you exercised some of that free will God gave you. If you can do it from the bottom of the slave galley chained to the oars we will really think the world of you. You go you! You can do it! Show us something!
Inspired by angels number fourteen and twenty-seven Dussen decided to make his move. The moment the centurion slipped the cabin chains from his ankles and hands he would do it.. He waited and just when his hands were free he launched himself at the guard... The guard easily sidestepped Dussen's furious but untrained attack, as Dussen flew by (totally missing) the guard took off his left arm at the elbow. Casually walking up to Dussen he then removed his right arm at the shoulder while chatting up the other galley slaves... Does anyone else have any clever thoughts they would like exorcised? Step right up. I think Dussen here has thought better of it after all... Dussen sat stunned and stupified. Were those angels he heard very clever, or even clever at all? He had his doubts - those doubts were verified when they flung him overboard and he was torn to pieces by sharks.
Gee Twenty-seven he was no fun. He fell right over. Well Fourteen maybe we should have told him to just get along and be nice to the guy with the sword. Who knows? But twenty-seven, that's so BORING!

Diamonds
Oh! How the gravity of hungry people wipes the shine off my diamonds...

In some religions if you are not suffering you cannot possibly be righteous. You are supposed to be all happy while you are doing it. That makes perfect sense to me, yep that's it.