Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Unexplodable Balloon Dog

From The Art Department: Unexplodable Balloon Dog Only Slightly Startled By Giant Straight Pin

     In his ongoing obsession with Jeff Koons metallicized balloon dog, Deegan grabs a full hydraulic exoskeleton and breaks into Gallery M. There he drives a giant straight pin thru the sculptures body. His hope was that it would burst into shards like any other balloon. Instead of the total destruction intended Deegan's quite punishable-by-law offense only encouraged Koons and allowed the resulting piece (after a little burnishing) to be sold for an even higher price. (Twice the price of Koons most expensive shiny dogs to date.)

     The jury, once informed of the prices sought and paid for such an inane concept fully recognized the corrupt madness of the situation and declared the altered piece "a much improved and entertaining artwork". They reasoned that the new selling price "fully compensated Mr Koons for the damage inflicted".
      Deegan pled not guilty by reason of insanity and was released, but we will tease him about this like, forever.

Concept: Deegan, Modeling and layout: TMITH, Hyper-existentialism : Zzen, Coffee: Sally

Sally Adds - Who added "coffee: Sally" to that caption? What a bunch of sexist a-holes you are! The whole thing is quite sophomoric and really unbecoming. I thought the Cosmic was of a higher caliber.

And Roy Moore Was Still There

I couldn't take it anymore so I went deep in a cave...

That was back in December of 2017. Finally after all my vittles were consumed and I drank my last drop of water - I came out.... 

and Roy Moore was still there.

An Obvious Evil

Hell Freezes Over

okay, not really

But you will know that hell has frozen over once a 'supporter' truly understands this graphic.

Do you hate America? If you complain about certain obviously evil activities you do!

Our Deeply Held Fears

Photo Internet (Patton Oswalt tweet) - modified by Cosmic staff - Zzen

Who Is Greasy McSwindlefoot?

Concept: Phineas, Graphic paste up by TMITH with apologies to Brueghel, and somebody else

Jet's Don't Fly On Holy Spirit!

Once you speak to Reverend Good Enough for a jet plane all doubts will be erased...

The Falcon 7X - it's the modern day equivalent of a donkey
Have you wondered why your pastor doesn't have a jet plane?

Wheems: You once said that "if Jesus were alive today, instead of riding a donkey he would be flying in a jet plane". We get it, but how is it that the holy spirit directed you to the Falcon 7X?

Reverend Good Enough: Have you seen it? It is a beast! It's ungodly, but in a holy way! When people see it they holler "Jesus Christ RGE, that is one hell of a plane!" Then I caution them not to "take the lords plane in vain".

Wheems: How do you feel about the treatment of immigrant families at the southern border of the U.S.?

RGE: What does that have to do with my plane? Why all this talk about migrants? These people have suffered at the hands of multinationals for decades, now it's a big deal. Suffering is good, it's in the bible!

Wheems: Does that mean God is actually responsible for the way things are going, the misery of these families and the needless suffering of refugees around the globe? That is not a thing to be proud of. What are your thoughts?

RGE: You cannot question God. Who do you think you are?

Wheems: The same God that told you to get a Falcon 7X allows immigrant children to be torn from their families and sold into sexual slavery? How can that be?

RGE: The mysteries of God are legion. Do not question and doubt. You should pray to Jesus and make a donation to my church, then you will see the light of righteousness and hope. At that time Jesus will make a way for you to blame the immigrants themselves for their condition. Don't forget that donation, jets don't fly on holy spirit!

Wheems: How is it that God has not sent a lightning bolt with your name on it?