Are We In Kansas Yet?

At the end of the movie I wanted to slap the shinola out of Glenda...

People Keep Asking...

What are the logos for? They are the first wave of ads and product placements you will begin to see in all the old popular movies - and some of the new ones. Also start to see some of your coworkers and church-goers wearing logos on clothes one would normally not expect. One of my favorites is when Charlton Heston parts the sea in the "Ten Commandments" once the water parts the entire area is covered with the SIEMENS logo for about three seconds.

"The spirits and people running the world are a bunch of assholes, but don't say that out loud because they will blow your brains right out of you if you do." John F. Kennedy*

 

 

*No, he did not really say it. It was actually Reynard

Roadbed Thru The Sea

StoryTyme!

 

Mistakenly clean shaven in New Haven I saw a raven on the beach speaking in a mysterious manner. I asked him if he would just go away – if he must continue to yammer on into the void like that. “How dare you!” he exclaimed, and came to peck out my eyes. I had just returned from tennis (a whale of a match I must say) and had my racket handy. As he lunged I performed a short overhead smash and caught him full force, breaking his neck. How could you? He gasped. "Like this", I answered and picking him up with a perfect toss I hit him with a flat serve sailing him out to sea. I then cleaned my strings, washed my hands and procured a tube steak from the hot dog man. He remarked that I shouldn't be going around killing birds like that. I looked at him in a way that let him know he would be next if he didn't mind his tongue. He looked down and begged off. I for my part relinquished my assault on the beach head and went back to my hotel room.

A fair maiden took my hand and squeezed it until money came out. We spent the afternoon lounging about. Later I went for a walk. I ran into Percival Pillbuster, the doctor I had defeated in the close tennis match described earlier. Great match Percival! I said kindly. "I'd like another go at it", he exclaimed. "I'd be more than happy to" I replied. Let's say two o’clock tomorrow afternoon? "Splendid!" he replied. I bid him adieu and proceeded to imagine his head on the raven’s body, bouncing around on the lake after I gave it a good whack.

Later, I had dinner by candlelight with Gwendoline of Kalamar. A fine lady full of character and wit, why several times I had to restrain myself from throttling her, that mouth of hers! I could strangle her to death and no jury would blame me. At the same time I could not get enough of her. Not only was she impertinently bright but she also had a cat like charm (a rather big cat) a fine figure, penetrating eyes, full lips and significant fire. I'd marry her - I considered if I did I'd be dead inside a year. There would be no "lounging about" with her. I begged her forgiveness and caught myself away just in the nick of time. Her heat might have incinerated me. Besides I have a match tomorrow, (this time I'll show no mercy). This evening belongs to Miss money squeezer, her charms are substantial but not lethal. It is an easy smooth move, reminds me of a conventional well executed volley. Move, transfer your weight inside and release...

The hot dog man sells mixed drinks by the sea at night. I order a Houdini. He doesn't recognize me. I ask him if he needs any birds whacked. He looks at me. I reassure him that I am a madman, and from that moment on we hit it off like we are brothers exchanging notes and revelries. We part and I sing a song to myself. "Forty thousand strokes and barrel, shoot me down a well oiled narrow - If I had a heart I'd shoot it with an arrow" Don't ask me, I have no idea what it means!

Submitted by our new man! PHINEAS

 

Hurry! (A Hint From God)

Hurry up, I think your ass is getting away from you, No. 2

Deegan says: (as he channels the snoozing Zzen) Have you ever seen a dog chasing his tail? That was a hint to YOU from GOD.

Lets pay homage to a Master

What you need is Soul Power!

Collage by TMITH

Zzen says no one exemplified the zen spirit of pureness more than the master of funk, James Brown.

We Want To Give You A Ticket

 

 

They could blow their noses and by accident more than enough money would appear to soothe the aches and pains of those forlorn. Those driven by desperation to the only things at their disposal, hate and destruction!

 

Inkylon

Dear readers

We love Sally, she's got the spirit of the cosmic but sometimes she let's her twinkly overrides come before our mission. If you read the post of 2/27/15 you'd know something was amiss. Anyway we have the Chalice and are back weekly and full force. Fear not for fair Sally, we will not have her burned at the stake all bible style (see Leviticus 20 & 21), but she will have to answer the phone.
Sincerely
TMITH or The Man in The Hat

Now for a story

Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls, Ask The Fee For The Toll Bell

Inkylon

Fresh out of ideas, Inkylon goes out to the edge of the city to die. He happens upon a talking weed growing out of a crack in the battered decrepit sidewalk. The weed, being frank, told and asked Inkylon, "Life is not fair but we do what we can with what we are given. Why are you so down, down enough to give up on the precious life bestowed you?  Did you receive a written guarantee of pure bliss and happiness? What are you expecting? I for my part believed I would grow on the edge of a swollen forest surrounded by other plants such as myself, but instead here I am surrounded by cracked concrete. On top of that every now and then some asshole walks up and steps on me like I wasn't even there, yet I spring back determined to live and grow no matter what." Inkylon listened carefully and said to the weed, "You have given me heart and I shall put you in my belly so that I will have your essence with me always." The weed cried out, WTF!*

With that Inkylon pulled the weed roots and all and ate it.

The moral of the story is, let others tend to their own business and keep your big mouth closed.

*or ”What the frankincense?”

Special Exemption

Isn't that nice?

Dear Readers,

Zzen, Tmith, Deegan and Reynard are all on vacation in the lower hills of something 'stan (Gergystan?) looking for the "Golden Chalice of Nimrod". While they are away I will show you happy pictures and stories - uplifting anecdotes and general cheer. When they get back they will be all pissed off, but when are they ever not? So while I'm running the show there will be a little less grouchiness, no obscure references and lots more sex and flowers. No not tawdry or pandering, lovely cute and sweet! (like I like it). Isn't that nice?!!

Yours Truly

Sally - Editor TF in Chief

Now, Lets roll this baby!


Jimmy's Dream Car

Special Exemption

Jimmy Coupon spent half his life saving up for the car of his dreams, he bought it on Tuesday and on Wednesday he got car-jacked, shot and killed. (Now I know that doesn't sound nice but he wasn't all that  good of a person.) Since he suffered so much at the end of his life they let him into heaven on a special exemption. Once he got there he said "This is great, but where's my goddamn car!"      He didn't get the car but they let him stay in heaven - because they were so understanding.
Isn't that nice?!!

Fun Fact! Making It Funky
 (Bobby) What you gonna play now?
(James Brown) Bobby, I don't know, but what in ever I play - it's got to be funky!

Everybody knows that's James Brown - but what they don't know is that those lyrics are based on the conversation God had with Jesus right before Jesus made Adam!!
(God) What you gonna make now?
(Jesus) I don't know, but whats-in-ever I make, it's got to be funky! Then he made ADAM!
Who Knew!

Wonderful
Evertime a bee goes up inside a flower it is helping it do flower sex, isn't that wonderful!!?

Good News!
Almost every doorknob I have used in the last twenty four hours has worked flawlessly. I'm appreciative.

Final thought
Even geniuses are terrible at some things, maybe not as many as you, but then again  
who's counting!!