Michele Bachmann Describes A Good Christian

Back in the day she would be punished for mocking God...

...but today the zombie crew just swallows it whole... Before I go too far lets review just what the hell I'm referring to. It started with this...

Word balloons by Sally

"[Trump] is highly biblical, and I would say to your listeners, we will in all likelihood never see a more godly, biblical president again in our lifetime. So we need to be not only praying for him, we need to support him, in my opinion, in every possible way that we can.

 - Bachmann describing our 45th president.


Here is a conversation between Bachmann and God. We cannot verify or substantiate it's truthiness, or applied truth meritocracy.
Michele Bachmann: I attach your name to Greasy McSwindlefoot and you won't stop me.
God Almighty: I'm not really into stopping people like you, not until...
MB: What are you, afraid? Did you run out of lightning bolts?
GA: If I felt like it I could have stopped you before you gestated. You people ruin my breakfast.
MB: HA HA! You're just a chicken heart!
GA: I am tempted to jump the timeline for a person like you, but... mercy.
MB: I have played the religious madwoman for decades with no repercussions, why stop now?!!

God sighs, then leaves the clinic.

The Jesus Preferences

Tres Jesus' - Of the three which do you prefer?

Cosmic staff photography, referencing John 2:1-11, John 2:13-16 and Matthew 26:39 - click for larger image

Comments:

The wedding at Cana featured a whole boatload of alcoholics who drank everything until there was not a drop in sight, it's a miracle they could even see straight much less determine what "the better wine" was. I say Jesus should have started off with a better miracle.

If you look at the ancient temple plan Jesus would have to have been Hercules to clear all of that huge area with just a whip of ropes. That said, wasn't Jesus kind of a Hercules? He was the son of God you know.

At Matthew we see Jesus changing his mind a little. You could say he was asking pops for a new script, like they do with the programmed beings in Westworld. That said aren't we just programmed beings? Repeating the stupid programming over and over? The wars, idiots running things, assholes as far as the eyes can see - ad-nauseam! Starvation, pestilence and reruns of awful TV shows. Jesus Christ Almighty!

Cracker Barrel

Book cover design by Cosmic Staff Artists.

Testimonials:

Greasy McSwindlefoot: (President, Unintentionally or PU) I almost fired Stevie - but then on the next day I got the joke. America is going to be like a barrel full of crackers!

Ann Coulter: (Pundit, Woman's Klan Auxiliary) I keep telling these dumb coons that America is 'post racial', Stephen explains how and why. Then he tells us who we are going to hate once everyone here is melanin deficient. 

Comments:

You can't call people Nazi's or Klansmen simply because they promote the concepts, ideas and passions of those groups. You don't know what kind of mask they where after work, for all you know it could be a dunce cap with flaps and eyeholes on it or something...